“Sweetie, who do you love more – mommy or daddy?” As kids, most of us have been subjected to questions like that (in pure playfulness). While parents are eager to know who is more loved by the children then, the same question is conveniently bypassed at the time of parents getting a divorce.
When parents go through a divorce, the fight to get custody of the children is often too exhausting and emotionally damaging to them. In a paper called “Decision-making by Children” published in 2008 it has been claimed that most kids in their teens develop their communication skills and personal preferences, while also beginning to make the financial decisions on their own. This clearly indicates that teenage children become intellectually independent, while still taking guidance from parents on certain aspects of their lives.
Thus, with the established intellectual and decision-making capabilities of teenage children, it can be concluded that they should be given the right to decide which parent to live with. Nevertheless, we have to consider the flip side as well. Granting teenage children the right to decide greatly increases the pressure on the kids. Not only is it heartbreaking for the children to see the marriage of their parents fall apart, add to that the weight of choosing one parent. We cannot forget the fact that kids in their teens are extremely delicate. With the existing peer pressure, pressure to excel academically and the raging hormones playing their wicked game, adding another problem to their lot seems unfair.
What can be concluded is that undoubtedly, children should get a say in deciding which parent to reside with; however, that should not be the only criterion of the decision. Other factors pertaining to the parents’ profile (emotional, financial, and intellectual) also need to be considered when granting the parent the custody of the children.